Pookiebear

So I just got back from vacation. My friend I stayed with is very health concious so it was kinda helpful. She is thin and pretty and has such motivation that it rubbed off on me and gave me motivation to come home and do something. I have tried so many diets and workouts that have failed miserably and now I’m ready to try this on my own. Since I only work on the weekend I definately have time to excercise. 30 minutes a day is nothing. I want to try to do pilates at least 3 times a week. I know it doesn’t sound like much but considering I walk 20 miles or more at work each week I think it will make a difference. I am a carhop at a fast food joint and I walk alot. Even on my slow days I log anywhere between 7 to 11 miles. I’ve wore a pedometer for the last month and I average 20.4 miles during my workdays. I was amazed to find that out. So on top of excercising I will watch what I eat and how much I eat. I plan on keeping a food journal to make it a little easier. I’ve set my goals to 2 lbs per week. I want to start with easy goals so I don’t get discouraged so easily. One day at a time and I can beat my weight issues.

So I made plans for a short vacation with an old friend this week. I have about 20 days before my trip. I decided the day I planned it that I wanted to be down at least 10 lbs before I went. As of now I’m down 2lbs. I’ve been having some really busy days at work so I’m nearly running all day. For those of you that have ever been to Sonic, carhops are really busy people. On top of that we finally got the pool set up and I’ve been in it everyday for a week. Instead of just swimming and having fun with my 4 yr old I spend about 30 minutes doing water areobics. It’s alot easier than taking a walk in the 100 degree heat. I’m hoping I can lose the other 8 lbs beforehand. I’ve planned a shopping trip while I’m away and I really really really want to be able to buy my new outfit a size smaller. If I keep up with the swimming and doing Pilates I should be down a size. It happened pretty quickly the last time so maybe I’ll get the same results. I just need to work on the eating better. I am searching for some new recipes for more healthy meals. I wanting to start planning my meals for the whole weeks so I don’t have to worry about screwing up. If anyone has any good ideas please pass them onto me. I need all the help I can get. Thanks so much for all the support!

Ok folks we are 8 days into May. Here I sit with yet another failed attempt at losing weight.  I don’t take enough time out for myself. So many emotional things have been happening that I get lost in all the choas and just give up whatever it is I’m doing for myself. I keep saying that I want to do this, but then a few days later I’m not doing anything to change myself. I say I want to do something and then just stand still thinking it will just happen. Well guess what? It doesn’t just happen. I have to get off my dead butt and do something. UGH. I wish there was some magic that would give me motivation and determination to just stick with it. Ok enough with the self loathing whiney non motivated me. I’m putting up some pictures and motivational quotes that I will see everyday. Maybe if I give myself constant reminders then it will help me with my goal

Last night was just maybe my aha moment folks! I was eating dinner out with my lil brother and his gf at Wendy’s. They both ordered full meals, ya know big greasy burgers and fries and  with the pop I so desperately covet. (I started the 1st of this month not drinking pop) But anyways. I ordered a salad and a bottle of water. The salad had breaded chicken on it(I know horrible right?!?!?) and I sat down and started taking all the breading off. The chicken just tastes better when it’s breaded. I did it without really thinking. My lil brother’s gf was like “wow you are like the coolest person I know!You can go to a fast food place with all this good greasy food and you can order a salad and water! And even better you take all the breading off your chicken!” What a weird way to compliment me, but it felt so good for someone to be onboard with me. To realize how hard I am trying. It really made me feel good. What makes me feel even better is that since the 1st I am down just under 6 lbs!!!!

I’m so very proud of myself! This weekend was full of temptation for me. I bought cookie dough to make hubby some cookies and I didn’t even have a bite of the dough! I also made banana cream pie and though it smelled like heaven in a pie plate I resisted and didn’t even take a taste. I did have a banana while makin it, but better to have fruit than some really sweet, mouthwatering, delicious…..but I digress. It was a very tempting weekend full of sweet stuff and really good food, but I stayed strong. It just shows me I can do it if I try!

Ok so it’s day 2 on this weight loss thing. I didn’t do so good today. It was a rough day for me because I’ve had to deal with some emotional things I thought I’d hid away far back in my mind. Suddenly I found those emotions eating at me. So I took them on. I’ve cried alot today, which in turn means I ate alot of things I shouldn’t have. Dealing with all that emotional stuff is no fun and I went straight to my comfort. food. Anyways, I’m sure I’ll be dealing with these emotional issues for the next couple days so I’m gonna try really hard not to comfort myself with food. Instead I’m gonna walk a few extra minutes on the treadmill. I can’t let silly little things get in my way.

Tomorrow is April 1st. It’s a brand new month. The month my life changed. Tomorrow is the first day I’m not giving up. My mother-in-law and I keep saying we are going to walk everyday. Well our weather has been kinda funky so we did that all of one day before we just quit. Well ya know we both have treadmills. There is nothing keeping us from walking everyday except our lazy selves. Well I resolve today that I am no longer gonna let me get in my way. I am a stay at home mom with nothing important to do. In the 8 hours that I am here by myself why can’t I walk a couple miles on the treadmill. I can…I’m just lazy and choose not to. Those days are over my friend. This girl is done bein a slacker! I want to be thin again. I want my husband to look at me like he did the first time we met. I want him to want me like he did when we first met. I want to be proud of myself and be able to show off my new body in summer. I’m going to try and make myself a routine. I’m going to get up with hubby and start my day. Pilates, and a walk on the treadmill. I’m excited for the new me. I can’t wait to see the results! Wish me luck and motivation!!!

Ok so I’ve been a real slacker this year already. Infact I’ve gained about 6 lbs.UGGGHHH. BUT!!!! This week has been really rough on my family and it’s made me appreciate things I have a little more. We all take for granted the things we have that would seem extravagant to others. I’ve learned to appreciate my living conditions, my lifestyle, and just my life in general. My mother-in-law and I have started walking every evening, and we’re trying to watch what we eat. We’ve decided to write it all down in a notebook and see where we can shave some unneccessary calories. Also we are only going to weigh ourselves every other week. We want to measure our success slowly so we don’t get off track. We’re going to take measurements also. We’ve decide our workout will be walking every other day and then Pilates on the off days. Hopefully we will see some great results and learn a healthier lifestyle.

This year I did not make the resolution to lose weight. I found that to be a little too daunting. So instead I made this: My resolution this year is to find the motivation and willpower to stick with my weight loss plan. I will ween myself off of sugars and sweets and will give up drinking soda of any kind. That’s not such a bad resolution is it??? I started on the first with the “no soda” rule and so far I’m ok. Day 3 and I haven’t died yet. I gave myself and early reward that I think will help with focus. I bought myself an MP3 player so I can run on the treadmill and block out all distractions. I think it will help and because I spent the money on it then I must make use of it and make it worth my while. Well here’s to all of us in our New Year’s Resolutions!!! Stay focused, stay strong, and think SKINNY!!!!

Ok so I just bought my plane ticket to success. Well it was really to Seattle but I’m using it as my excuse. I’m going to my best friend’s wedding and I want to look great which means dropping the 20lbs that I’ve been avoiding. I want to show up in a dress and not be uncomfortable.  I know the whole day is about her, but I wanna have my own internal wedding. A wedding to the new me, one that continues to shrink, the one who realizes her goals and sticks with her commitments.  I will work hard and be successful. i’m starting back on Pilates today and making a diet plan so it will be almost impossible to fail. Here’s to celebrating a new family and a new me!!!!!